When it Comes to Men, Some Women Have It...and You Can Too!

Every day in my counseling office, I hear women say some variation of this: 

“In the last few years, I have had relationships with men who, at first, seemed perfect for me.  They were attentive, attractive and fun to be around.  Then suddenly, as if they knew they had reeled me in, they stopped trying.  They stopped calling as much, stopped taking me out and basically stopped the romantic dance that couples do when they are falling in love.  Was it me ?  After all, I think I’m attractive, have a good personality and I work out to keep my body in nice shape.  So why then, do I always end up with the men who become “couch potatoes” at my house ?  The men who would rather bring a six pack over and watch football all day and then expect me to fix dinner ?  Do I suddenly turn into just a “buddy” to them, the girl next door ? 

I see other women who, frankly, are not as attractive as I am or as thin as I am, who seem to get the “hot” men.  I don’t necessarily mean gorgeous men, but the men who take them to nice restaurants, bring them flowers, take them dancing and, basically, “court” them.  What secrets do they know that I don’t, because they certainly aren’t sharing them ?”

If Only I Could Understand Men….

Men have always said they can not understand women and that women are so complicated. Well, for many women is the exact opposite. Most would give anything to understand what makes people "tick." While women want to know what they think, men are often reluctant to say what is in their hearts. What is a woman to do?

Rather than describing all the differences between the sexes, it is often useful to focus on a few areas that any woman can understand.

1) Men are more susceptible than women. Although it may seem ridiculous, the truth is that men do not have the ability to recover from emotional trauma as effectively as a woman. For this reason, men getting too annoying. When a man hears, simply "let their feelings," he reflected in this "If I let my feelings about, I would not be able to control them."

2) Men hate fighting. For men, the conflict is not simply to solve a problem. Fight, a man was how to win and the other needs to be rejected completely. Men often prefer conflict is not emotional, because it is less threatening to them. Once a conflict gets excited, it is very difficult for a man to keep the feelings and the ability to tailor the most common is to calm down. May seem to get punished, but most likely try not to lose control.